I Speak With the Tongue of a Thousand White-Hot Lies!

After a few minutes of putting Play-Doh away:

"I'm tired of all this puttin' away. I need somebody to do it for me."

Then, after Scott and I stop laughing, in a bright, Wait-I-know-the-right-answer voice:

"I need somebody to help me."

In about 44 minutes, the Zweeble will officially be three. He'll probably be asleep.

I, however, will be awake and celebrating the anniversary of the most whacked-out day of my life by watching something good on TV. Not sure what yet; I need to look through the DVDs and the movie channels.

ZQOTD:

Whenever anyone said "Happy Birthday" to him, he replied, "Happy Birthday to you, too, [insert name]."

So, "Happy birthday, Zweeble," says Jason.

"Happy birfday to you, too, Jason," replies Z.

Also, when his friend A took over his Hungry Hippos game and was playing it differently than he wanted: "This is terrible!"

---

Happy birthday, monkey.

Well done, us. :)

As the boy prepares his nightly procrastinatory bedtime routine, we get the following exchange:

"I want milk! Milk makes you sleepy!"

Some negotiating about milk commences, ending with an agreement for the boy to receive said beverage.

I am working on my dinner during the negotiations, and as Daddy proceeds to get the milk, I get some ice from the freezer and drop it into my glass.

Z: I don't want ice in my milk!

L: That was ice for my drink.

Z: Oh. (long pause) I was just joking.

L: (clarifying) You were joking?

Z: Yeah, that was just me making a joke.

"Let's be pirates! We will ruin everyone's lives!"

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At the fair the other night, we got the Zweeble these water beads. They start out as tiny little seeds, and when you put them in water, they grow. They look like those colored glass craft beads you can buy to put at the bottom of a dish, but when you touch them, they're gelatinous and cold.

Yesterday, Z. showed me how, if you drop the expanded beads in water, they seem to disappear except for their color. Z.'s are pink, so you have these out-of-focus, 2-D looking pink blobs (it reminds me of what happens if you take a seriously close-up photo of, say, Mardi Gras beads) floating around. It looks as though you could swirl your hand in the water and make them dissolve; however, when you put your hand in, you can feel the gelatinous beads all around your fingers.

They are, seriously, the weirdest and coolest thing we've ever gotten the kid. And it led to this morning's exchange:

Z: Mom, can you put water in the sink for me?

M: Sure, what for?

Z: I want to make the beads go invisible.

M: (starting sink) That's your plan, huh?

Z: My evil plan.

after singing along to the theme song from the Disney "Winnie The Pooh":

Z: "I know all the words in that song, Mom."

L: "I heard you, you did great!"

Z: "I do better singing than you, Mom."

Scott likes to call him "Hands MacGillicuddy" whenever he starts to get into things, as in, "Hang on, Hands MacGillicuddy!" Occasionally he shortens it, like tonight:

S: "Hey there, Hands!"

Z: "Maaahh-Gillicuddy!"

He was a little chatterbox today, full of observations and proclamations. These are the best, though:

In the car on the way to the grocery store, Scott told me how Z. had been pulling toys out of his toy box, saying, "I had this toy when I was a baby. And I had this one when I was eight." Scott said, "I was like, 'Uh, okay.'"

Z: Daddy, why were you like, "Uh, okay"?

S: Because you were talking like a little time traveling monkey.

L: Are you a Time Lord, Z?

Z: Yeah. But everybody calls me George. Because I am a monkey.

Later, in the grocery store, apropos of nothing ...

Z: I know everything!

L: Everything, huh?

Z: Yes, I know all the words you say to me. Like proletariat, and bourgeoisie ...

(some of the credit for that goes to Phineas and Ferb, but we started him on "bourgeoisie" when he was one)

All right, so we hit the library and the grocery store, I have the kitchen straightened up and will probably ask Mom to unload and load the dishwasher, and I'll get the living room done once the Zweeb is down for a nap. Laundry just won't happen until tomorrow, and that's okay.

I still haven't totally shaken this cold, and it hit me again over the weekend, so I'm ... well, not behind on laundry, because it was about half-done. Back where I started, I guess.

And someone else in this town is on a Sharon Shinn kick, and said person has checked out the books I was looking for! (I want romance that works out in the end after some angst, plus magic stuff.) That's all right. I got two Diana Wynne Jones books, a Dennis Lehane (not the one I've been hunting for, though, dagnabbit), and an Ursula Le Guin set in ancient Rome.

Zweeb got a bunch of stuff--two dragon books, a chapter book about Willow the Wednesday Fairy, a Max and Ruby (we've about exhausted the Max and Ruby books), a robot book, and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, which is from the wolf's POV, because he loves the three little pigs story and I felt like expanding his worldview.

Z. also got a glow stick at the grocery store, and an octopus eraser from the gumball machine, and he was well-behaved through the store for under a dollar. Praise be!

ZQOTD: "I have to tell you my funny joke. First I went into a lady's house, and then I spilled some yellow juice. (pause) And that's how my joke goes!"

Seriously apropos of nothing:

"That lady in Mary Poppins? She's a jerk."

Last year's Thanksgiving highlight, for me, was my father, mother, grandmother, Scott, and me sitting around my parents' dining room table--everyone else had left--with the Zweeble sitting on it, telling us what pictures he wanted us to draw. "Horsie!" "Flower!" "Me!"

This year's highlight was after everyone had left; I was lazing on the couch under a blanket as Cars came on. The Zweeble came over and squirmed up to laze beside me, then said, "I need my feet under the blanket, too." Then we watched the beginning of the movie together, all cozy.

Scott's highlight was the Zweeble telling his first joke. I have no idea if he'll post about it or not.

Mom decided we should toast the food, so we did--Z. clinked his sippy cup--and we all said "Cheers!" Then Z. proceeded to eat his Thanksgiving meal:

"This is the best turkey ever! And the very best gravy! What's this stuff?"

"Stuffing."

"And the best stuffing in the whole world! Let's cheers!"

So we did, even Pop from waaay across the table. Then he went on to wish every single person at the table Happy Thanksgiving.

So Happy Thanksgiving from the Zweeble. May you have the best turkey, gravy, and stuffing in the whole world. Cheers!