I Speak With the Tongue of a Thousand White-Hot Lies!

via BoingBoing:

"As president, I believe that robotics can inspire young people to pursue science and engineering. And I also want to keep an eye on those robots in case they try anything." --Barack Obama, speaking to Washington D.C. schoolkids on Monday as part of his science education initiative.

Okay, that's cool, but I'm still waiting for Federal and State Zombie Contingency Plans.

More people need to do the zombie meme, because one of the bright spots in my somewhat-gloomy day has been trying to imagine the zombie flick where dealio and Samuel L. Jackson are down the Dillard's arm of the mall, sugarcoatedlie and Faith are holding JC Penney's, and I'm covering the Doctor in the office as he frantically rewires mall security.

Damn, where's my little cartoon zombie-me when I need it? Lost in the hard drive replacement. Ah well, she was a redhead, anyway.

Anyway, after a night where I didn't sleep much at all, I feel a marked improvement today. I'm not dead, but not entirely alive, either. I am more un-dead. Shambling around, sort of moaning. "We're coming to get you, Zweeble!"

Of course, this is at 8:36 in the morning. Give me three hours and I may be begging you to shoot me in the head.

Watched Lost last night, and I called the big twist. I usually call things on Lost in one of two ways: the three-seconds-before-it-happens-"Oh my god, it's X!!!" way, or the halfway-through-the-episode-"Wouldn't it be interesting if X happened?" way. Last night was the latter. And they made me wonder the entire time if I was right or not. ( minorly spoilery )

Lost has been really good thus far. I hope it lasts, 'cause it's all I've got until Doctor Who starts up again. :)

Well, the zombie infection has cleared up nicely. Granted, we live in the boondocks, so our zombie encounters were pretty sporadic once we got back to the house with the plunder from the pawn shop; mostly we just got stragglers from the cemetery that's about two miles away, shambling up the road (the problem with redneck neighbors is that you can't tell whether they're zombies or not, as both are rather inarticulate. I'm sure there was some collateral damage because of that). Still, giving Grandma the high-powered rifle and sitting her next to the one uncovered window was a really good idea--Grandma's an excellent shot. And you haven't lived until you've seen your 80-something Grandmother picking off zombies in between working on her crossword puzzles.

Around 7pm, Jason arrived with three or four of the things hanging onto his car. As usual, his timing was just perfect, because there was a small pack of the undead heading up our road at the same time, and that caught their attention. So we had about ten zombies heading our way, and the problem of getting Jason safely from his car to the house ... you'd think they'd be easier to shoot when they've been dragged by a car for an hour and a half, but they got awfully *wriggly,* and they were determined. Scott and I managed to hold them off Jason as he bolted for the front door, but none of us managed to get a good head shot--well, until he was halfway here, when one of the local zombies grabbed him ... he totally owes Grandma one for that, even though she feels bad that he got ichor all over him when the thing's head exploded.

Chaos then ensued: bang bang, zombie moans, more bang bang, looks like they're all dead then one pops up in front of the window and tries to get in, "Holy shit!" from me and Scott, then bang bang bang again. The usual.

And amazingly enough, when we hosed Jason down, not a bite or scratch on him!** Thank god, because I think I'd have had to be the one to shoot Jason in the head, and I don't know how I'd break it to his mom. He won't talk about how he got out of town, but I found a metal mailbox flag, a dented shovel, the leg of his coffee table, and two hubcaps--all bloody--in the backseat of his car. Along with all his dirty laundry, because Jason is, if nothing else, entirely practical. :)

The Zweeble slept through the whole thing. Except when it was time to feed him. Next zombie apocalypse, I'm using formula.

**In my Zombie Apocalypse, everybody lives! Because we have the contingency plan.